Sometimes it feels like I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to prevent making the same mistakes I’ve made in the past. I completely understand that in order to grow as a person, mistakes are an inevitability. They are supposed to provide a certain perspective ther enables you to push forward. Perhaps I’ve either hurt myself or others with my mistakes and the last thing I want is be anyone’s source of pain. And at the end of the day, it all comes back to operating out of fear. How incredibly powerful fear is!
What kind of fear are we talking about here? Fear of success, failure, loss, love, hate, pain, pleasure… you name it and the list goes on and on. Just today, I was remarking on how wonderful it would be to spend 6 months at a Buddhist monastery, completely disconnected from everything, unplugged from all the diversions but my own mind.
But in my mind lies the greatest diversion of all: self-discovery & self-awareness.
All this fear would have to be faced and hopefully conquered. Is that possible? I really don’t know, but I’d like to try. If you spin it another way, you could call it running away. I don’t know about that either.
Is there such an animal as a calculated mistake? Or are all mistakes true anomalies?