The Halfway Point
When 2010 started, I said to myself that this would be my “me” year, a chance to work on myself and learn a bit more about what I’ve become over the course of the last few years. I thought work would be a factor in this, determining where my career path would end up as well. Instead, it was truly all about me and what I’ve become, as well as what I want my future me to look like. The biggest conclusion is that what I want for my life isn’t tied into anyone else but me: not my friends, not my mother, not a man… no one else can create that. My friends will help me get there certainly, and God knows I’m eternally grateful for it. Trying to create a joint future with a significant other is, in my eyes, a fruitless effort. True joint would be having my goals and their goals coinciding and mingling, yet still be ultimately independent of each other.
I have to say I’m understandably more intolerant about romantic relationships, but thankfully that hasn’t been a factor for me. It’s been good to just focus on the really major stuff of my life instead of the fluff. Yep, just not feeling it at all, certainly not anything serious.
I wanted to start writing again and I have. I’m so happy! The process takes longer than it used to, but the words are slowly but surely coming to me after a 5 year hiatus. I’m also taking an active interest in my wardrobe and how I look. It’s not that I didn’t care before, I just didn’t feel the need to impress. Fact is, I simply don’t know who I will meet on a daily basis. It could be a celebrity, some influential person that can kick start my career, or my future ex-husband for that matter – first impressions and all that. With a lot of help and advice from fashionista friends, I find myself styling on the regular (thanks ladies!).
And then the travel… after years of delayed travel plans, I just jumped on it full force. If I can go to places around the world, why the heck not? With school and everything, it was difficult to plan those sort of things, but such are priorities. Now, I’m free to do it and I regret nothing.
So this is the halfway point of the year – what’s next for the 2nd half? As I write this from Aruba, I’m excited about my September trip to Japan (again). But this time, it’s not just for kicks. I’m doing some serious scouting and testing my language skills while I am there. There is also the JLPT test I plan to take in December. I’d actually like to do a couple of certifications over the next 6 to 10 months. I took the time to work on my physical, emotional and external areas; it’s time to figure out my life path. Keep on with my writing – it will improve with time and revisions. Get my financial house in order – nuff said. Keep on cooking – I’m not 100% sure of where I’m going with it, but I know I love it still. And study like crazy, because if I’m eventually making my way to Japan, it’s not gonna happen with mediocre Japanese.
I feel positive about this path. Best thing is, I’m doing it for me and no one else. That is a true motivator.