Raw Commitment � My Thoughts
Once again, I’ve been thinking….. gotta say, this is becoming a regular occurrence! Anyway, I was thinking about the whole idea of commitment. It seems to be a simple concept, but it presents a level of complication that is sometimes hard to grasp. I watch the relationships that surround me… friends, family and so on. In my family, there is a distinct lack of the ability to commit. While some people equate the ability to get married with commitment, I think the concept is much much simpler. It isn’t about marriage; it’s about the shift in consciousness from “me” to “we”. In a committed relationship, its no longer about “me” at all. The prevailing thought should be about what is best for “us”. I feel like that is often missing from most relationships. As human beings, we often come from the “me” perspective: what can “I” get out of this and how does this benefit “me”. To take a step away from one’s ego and think of another being as a prevalent thought is a total shift, something that some people are either not capable of or are not prepared to do. Also, that can change over the course of time! The relationship that presumes to be a committed one can shift back into that “me” frame of mind and dissolve the carefully molded perspective of “we” and the coinciding commitment.
I’ve read and heard from lots of women saying, “Oh, my man isn’t ready to commit”. I find this to be an interesting prospect. If they aren’t ready to commit, what does that say about the state of your relationship? Fact of the matter is that you’re still just dating, and the relationship itself hasn’t evolved to be something that could be considered committed. If I’m committed to you, I belong to you and vice versa. We do not shy away from the “hard issues”, nor do we ignore them. We push forward as one unit toward a common goal. This is a key component missing, in my opinion, in the relationships I have had. It truly takes a dedicated individual, one that feels wholeheartedly in the relationship, to be the “push” that has a relationship maintain its level of commitment.
I love those relationships that, despite the crap they go through, still manage to find a way to work things out. It may not be pretty, but fundamentally, there is something that they love about each other and are willing to keep as a part of their lives. It is ever so. I can only hope to attain a relationship like that one day. I am truly encouraged by those I see, those that live love like it was meant to be lived. You can be in love, and you can love. Being in love inevitably fades; love bolsters you through thick and thin. I’m not one to quote the Bible or anything, but I think the whole 1 Corinthians verse they say at weddings is rather true. To be committed is to love fully without reservations. That is not to say you should be stupid, i.e., if someone is beating on you or some such… But just in the spirit of communion. I think people are meant to enjoy each other on many levels, some to the level of enduring commitment.
Love is a beautiful thing, that way….