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Selective Trust

We all know that trust is the basis for any relationship, be it friendship, romantic or even familial. There is the inherent assumption that you should be able to implicitly trust certain people in your life, like your parents, husband/wife… this is so far from the truth! The truth is that with all the people in our lives, we apply selective trust, and the degree to which that trust is given is on a sliding scale depending on the current state of your relationship. I once had the idealistic notion that I could trust someone fully, but I have been disabused of that sentiment. The recent events of my life have indicated strongly that, yes, selective trust is a necessary thing and it is ok. It is a strength indicator too. It’s like work; you earn more responsibility when you prove yourself.

That said, there are people that currently have lost my trust in some areas, something that will never be restored. Trust is such a fragile thing, so when someone proffers it, know that they thought you worthy of receiving it. Don’t abuse it.

I almost wonder if I’m a fool for trusting some people, but you don’t create an opening for future relationships without it. And there is the rub. There is always the potential to have trust betrayed, as long as we are human beings that will ever be so. The key is to have enough personal fortitude to push beyond the hurt of it… and give yourself another chance. Life is not lived in a vacuum.

3 comments on “Selective Trust
  1. It’s true that trust is something that when proffered has the distinction of being a huge thing to the person offering but not necessarily to the person being offered. I tend to pay close attention to the signs that I receive early on from a person with regards to this. I also, of course, employ cut off seasons at every turn. But you’re right, Mika, you cannot live life in a vacuum…you’ll never live life that way.

    Good read.

  2. Point taken on giving your trust to the right individual. Cut off season is a nice way to cleanse… it’s like an enema for your soul.

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