Not To Sound Old Or Anything�.
I woke up this morning with all kinds of nostalgic things in my head. Every once in a while, I look back on stuff that has happened, either in recent history or way way back in the day… and I’m rather astounded at all the stuff I’d been through. Strangely, I have very little to show for some of it, but what I do have to show is pretty nice and I’m proud of it.
In Japanese, there’s a word for this: なつかしい (natsukashii). As a basic word, it means “nostalgia”, but there’s more than just nostalgia for it. Some of it is a sense of longing, of really missing something that has long since passed and you’d like to experience it again. Some of it I can. Like, I loved my intense writing years. I used to spend hours upon hours just writing fiction.. specifically romance shorts and novellas… just because the idea was in my mind and I needed to get it out. Life influences you in that way, and for the things that were happening at that time, it comes as no surprise that I was as prolific as I was. For me, relationships were not great conductors of ideas, which is why I noticed every time I got into a relationship, my writing slowed down – and I was okay with it. Well, I’m once again alone and whaddya know? I’m writing again! LOL.
Still, there’s a lot of things I actually would change if I could. Impetuous youth and all that jazz… even in my adult life, I’ve done some woozies. *shudder* I’ve told people before… look, I’ve done some things in my life I’m not particularly proud of, but I can’t take it back. It’s done and all I can do is not put myself in that situation or do the same things again.
Isn’t that life though? I like that about it. So much to experience — unlimited really — and at the same time, we only do a fraction of what is possible. It would be nice to have more なつかしい sort of things to look back on and say “hey, those were nice times…”