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A Few Things To Say…

Today, I turn 27. As my birthday always falls on or around Thanksgiving, I am thankful that I’ve lived another year. This year has been more poignant than others, I would say. I went through a lot of tough times late last year, at this very same time in my life, breaking up with my ex and all. Despite what could have been a horrible year to come, I managed to make the best of it and really start living my life to the fullest. I got really secure about who I was as a person and knew deep down that it was something that would drive me through the rest of my life. I started dating for the first time in over 6 years, met some nice guys and had some good times. I started writing again after a long hiatus, went pursuing other interests that I’ve always had but didn’t think I could do. Whether I completed it or not isn’t the important thing; I went from saying, “No I can’t” to “Yes I can”, and that was the biggest turnaround of 2005 for me thus far.

And so now, at the “ripe old age” of 27, I have to ask myself, “What’s next?”. I’ve always had this idealistic hope of being settled in my career before I hit my 30s, married and on my way to having my kids well before 35 and published as an author before I turn 35 as well. It still can happen, but so far I find that I like living by myself in this apartment and just dating people. Ok, let me define that one a little more: dating, as an institution, isn’t something I vibe with. I’m thinking more like dating ONE PERSON… yeah, not in terms of anything super serious either. Just someone to spend time with and enjoy the company of, perhaps a little something intimate too. Who knows. If I have a fear, it would be that… of losing myself to another person after all I’ve worked on. This lives like a small piece of mold that can get out of hand with just the right amount of warmth. (Not the best visual, but it’s all that comes to mind.) An irrational fear, of course, given how secure I am with myself these days, yet I cannot deny its existence. So there you have it…

I don’t know what this new year will bring, hopefully something pleasurable, wonderful, romantic (yes, THIS is something I got very clear about in the last year too), profitable (God knows I need this one!) and ultimately beneficial to my well-being. I’d like to live to 28 and say I’ve lived a good 27. That’s what life is about anyway…. living it well and to the fullest. Did I do 26 to the fullest? I can honestly say I did alright — not 100%, but maybe 75%. And I did so with no regrets.

Here’s to living life well… *fake toast*

forever yours,
mika